Holding Space for Ourselves: A Radical Act of Self-Care

As women, many of us are natural caretakers. We hold space for others effortlessly—listening to friends, tending to family, showing up for colleagues, and supporting loved ones in their struggles. But when it comes to holding space for ourselves, the instinct to care can feel unfamiliar, even indulgent.

Our first reaction is often to hide our needs, push through, or prioritize everyone else’s well-being over our own. Yet, learning to hold space for ourselves is not only necessary—it’s transformative. It allows us to show up fully, both for ourselves and for others, with authenticity and strength.

This post is an invitation to explore what it means to hold space for yourself and how to nurture your own well-being without guilt.

What Does It Mean to Hold Space for Ourselves?

Holding space for yourself means creating room for your thoughts, emotions, and needs without judgment or pressure to fix or perform. It’s about giving yourself the same care and attention you so often offer to others.

It might look like:

• Taking time to reflect on your feelings instead of brushing them aside.

• Setting boundaries around your time and energy.

• Acknowledging your struggles and needs without minimizing them.

• Offering yourself compassion when you fall short of expectations.

Holding space is an act of self-respect, reminding yourself that your needs matter too.

Why Do We Struggle to Hold Space for Ourselves?

Many women feel conditioned to put others first, whether due to societal expectations or the belief that their value lies in what they give. Holding space for ourselves can feel counterintuitive—like we’re taking something away from others.

But here’s the truth: When you constantly pour from an empty cup, you’re not truly serving anyone. By holding space for yourself, you replenish your emotional reserves and show up for others in a healthier, more sustainable way.

How to Start Holding Space for Yourself

 1. Give Yourself Permission

The first step is acknowledging that it’s okay to prioritize yourself. You don’t need to earn rest or justify taking time for yourself.

Affirm This:
“It’s okay to care for myself. My needs are valid, and my well-being matters.”

2. Start Small

Holding space for yourself doesn’t have to mean big changes. It’s about weaving small acts of care and intention into your daily life.

Try This:

• Take 5 minutes to sit quietly with your thoughts.

• Write down one thing you’re feeling and honor it without trying to fix it.

• Schedule a brief moment in your day that’s just for you, like enjoying a cup of tea or taking a walk.

3. Practice Boundaries

Boundaries protect your time and energy, allowing you to hold space for yourself even in the midst of a busy life.

Set Boundaries by:

• Saying no to commitments that feel draining.

• Scheduling time for yourself and treating it as non-negotiable.

• Communicating your needs clearly, such as asking for quiet time or delegating tasks.

4. Listen to Your Inner Voice

Your instincts often know what you need, but it’s easy to silence that voice in the rush of daily life. Make a habit of checking in with yourself.

Ask Yourself:

• “What am I feeling right now?”

• “What do I need in this moment?”

• “How can I honor my emotions without judgment?”

Listening to yourself is a powerful way to hold space and build trust with your inner voice.

5. Offer Yourself Compassion

Holding space for yourself isn’t always easy. You might feel guilty, uncomfortable, or unsure. That’s okay. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this new way of caring.

Practice Self-Compassion:

• Replace self-criticism with self-kindness.

• Remind yourself that you’re human, and imperfection is part of the journey.

• Speak to yourself as you would a dear friend—kindly, patiently, and with love.

The Ripple Effect of Holding Space for Yourself

When you hold space for yourself, you model self-respect and balance for those around you. You show your children, friends, and loved ones that it’s okay to prioritize well-being. And you create deeper, more authentic connections by bringing your whole self—needs, strengths, and vulnerabilities—to the table.

It’s not selfish. It’s necessary.

You Are Worth the Space You Take Up

Holding space for yourself doesn’t mean you stop caring for others—it means you extend that same care inward. It’s a radical act of self-love in a world that often tells women to put themselves last.

So take a breath. Honor your needs. Let yourself be held—not just by others, but by your own kindness and care.

At NestCalm, we’re here to support you in your journey to hold space for yourself. If you’re ready to explore what self-compassion, boundaries, and balance look like in your life, schedule a consultation with us today.

You deserve to take up space. You deserve to be cared for.